Comparison- The Creativity Block

Options. That word always seems so positive. So wonderful. To have options. Surprisingly, coming from the mouth of a social media “guru”, I think our options have, in just the last four years, become… Overwhelming. Suffocating. Somewhat passion draining. Even creativity blocking. At times. Depressing? Yes, I said it. I honestly feel like it can even be THAT at times. And to clarify, in this post I’m particularly referring to social media as it pertains to your career. And even more specifically CREATIVITY driven careers like art, design, fashion, culinary and photography just to name a few.

So let’s rewind back to where I began. Addison’s Wonderland. When I initially started designing bedding, I did it for Addison. For me. To give me an outlet. Something to do. A project to keep a stay at home mommy from losing her mind. Too much energy and creativity to have bottled up any longer. So I sketched. And sewed. And played. And it was sooooo fun. Sooooo liberating. Sooooo me. And although Addison’s a Wonderland started becoming a social media driven business, I still wasn’t super active on the other end of it all. I posted but didn’t scroll. Instagram wasn’t around yet and if Pinterest was, I hadn’t heard of it or subconsciously ignored adding another “to do” to my list. So that was my creative life for 2011, 2012, 2013 and into 2014 when we purchased and started renovating our current home. Our current home is me. All me. Design wise I mean. It’s all me.

And then my Instagram account started to take off. I quickly started stumbling upon the most amazing accounts. Design accounts. Fashion accounts. Photography accounts. Accounts of moms that make life look like a fairytale. And I think it’s somewhat become the new norm, for women mainly I’d assume, to envision yourself or envision your goal for yourself as a combination of all of these people. These lives. You create an imaginary person. Hey, I want her body. And then her (another person) house. Her (another person) eyelashes. Her (you get it by now) closet. Her legs. Her design style. Her talent. Her sense of style. Her hair braiding abilities. Her mad DIY skills. Her way of making her kids look like angelic creatures that are always dressed to perfection. And then let’s top it off with her (insert your creative profession) portfolio/skills/”eye”/ideas. That’s who I want to be. Need to be. Am going to strive to be. And that my friends… that’s where the comparison becomes awful, horrible, draining, life sucking and detrimental to us. Our careers. Our talent. We strive to be someone who doesn’t even exist.  We compare our talents to someone who doesn’t even exist. We question our style, our gift, our passion next to those who seem to have it all.

I’d like to interrupt this important blog post for an announcement. I’m not actually a negative person. Or unhappy. Or jealous. Or depressed. If you’ve been reading my now weekly “personal posts” as I like to call them, you may think one or all of the above. I’m actually none of the above. I’ve just felt a calling lately to be the voice from the other side. To say that it in fact happens to us to. Because I know I could be one of those people. Yet what you see isn’t 100%  real life and in fact I start to question myself to. My style. My gift. My passion. And I genuinely, honestly feel like social media and the Internet and all of these “options” can be amazing. If you take them the right way. If you put on your rose colored lenses. And enjoy it for what it is. And not for what it isn’t. Us, women, can be so hard on ourselves and I think that’s something I fight for everyday for myself, my daughters and you guys!…my readers.

Okay so now that I’ve cleared all of that up, let’s continue… So back to that career comparison thing. I’m a designer. An interior designer/home blogger as you know. I have been so blessed and have celebrated some really great milestones. Particularly over the last couple of years. Yet I’m still not safe from this thing. This comparison thing. This thing that I find draining me at times. Sucking the creative life out of me. Because I also do what you may do. I subconsciously create this person, this compilation of the most amazing qualities from each IG account that I follow, and that’s who I need to be. Want to be. Strive to be. Yet it’s subconscious. But then I subconsciously realize that my house doesn’t look like hers. My style is way more bold. Way more colorful. Way more funky. Maybe next time I should design a bathroom that looks like that. Maybe I should start buying and speccing furniture more traditional in style like that. Because that’s what’s popular right now. That’s what most everyone else is doing. And start to lose me. Yet they are them and I probably can’t do her better than she can.  If I design a bathroom like that it won’t be in a magazine or a top “pin” of mine. Because it’s already been done. Because she can do her style way better than I can do her style. Clearly because she is she and I am me. And would it still even be my passion if it were “her” and not me?

And as I go into my biggest project yet, #ourhistoricwonderland, I’m trying so hard to turn off the hesitation. I’m turning off the questions. I’m turning off the doubt. And I’m turning off these new social media voices in my head. Because I am unique. And I can do me way better than anyone else can do me. And that’s what the world needs. More you and you and you and you. Because comparison and replicating (once again, I’m ONLY referring to careers) and envy and doubt doesn’t make you any better. You can do YOU way better than anyone else can ever do you. So as I continuously try to do everyday in a world now suffocating us with social media perfection, embrace you and celebrate you and showcase you. Because God made you with a purpose and a unique gift, a light that shines brighter with that gift than anyone else can shine. You can do you better than anyone else can do you. So create your own uniquely beautiful life and career and celebrate your passion. Because no matter how hard they try or you try, your unique gift cannot shine any brighter than it does when it’s done by you.

XOXO, Brittany Hayes