Comparison- The Creativity Block
When I started Addison’s Wonderland four and a half years ago (the bedding company- read more about that HERE), I didn’t do Pinterest, I didn’t do Instagram, I rarely did Facebook and I had never even read a blog. My designs were raw, real and 100% authentic to me. I designed from the heart and from a passion the size of Texas. Staying true to me and my aesthetic was easy… natural… fun. There wasn’t really another option.
Options. That word always seems so positive. So wonderful. To have options. Surprisingly, coming from the mouth of a social media “guru”, I think our options have, in just the last four years, become… Overwhelming. Suffocating. Somewhat passion draining. Even creativity blocking. At times. Depressing? Yes, I said it. I honestly feel like it can even be THAT at times. And to clarify, in this post I’m particularly referring to social media as it pertains to your career. And even more specifically CREATIVITY driven careers like art, design, fashion, culinary and photography just to name a few.
So let’s rewind back to where I began. Addison’s Wonderland. When I initially started designing bedding, I did it for Addison. For me. To give me an outlet. Something to do. A project to keep a stay at home mommy from losing her mind. Too much energy and creativity to have bottled up any longer. So I sketched. And sewed. And played. And it was sooooo fun. Sooooo liberating. Sooooo me. And although Addison’s a Wonderland started becoming a social media driven business, I still wasn’t super active on the other end of it all. I posted but didn’t scroll. Instagram wasn’t around yet and if Pinterest was, I hadn’t heard of it or subconsciously ignored adding another “to do” to my list. So that was my creative life for 2011, 2012, 2013 and into 2014 when we purchased and started renovating our current home. Our current home is me. All me. Design wise I mean. It’s all me.
And then my Instagram account started to take off. I quickly started stumbling upon the most amazing accounts. Design accounts. Fashion accounts. Photography accounts. Accounts of moms that make life look like a fairytale. And I think it’s somewhat become the new norm, for women mainly I’d assume, to envision yourself or envision your goal for yourself as a combination of all of these people. These lives. You create an imaginary person. Hey, I want her body. And then her (another person) house. Her (another person) eyelashes. Her (you get it by now) closet. Her legs. Her design style. Her talent. Her sense of style. Her hair braiding abilities. Her mad DIY skills. Her way of making her kids look like angelic creatures that are always dressed to perfection. And then let’s top it off with her (insert your creative profession) portfolio/skills/”eye”/ideas. That’s who I want to be. Need to be. Am going to strive to be. And that my friends… that’s where the comparison becomes awful, horrible, draining, life sucking and detrimental to us. Our careers. Our talent. We strive to be someone who doesn’t even exist. We compare our talents to someone who doesn’t even exist. We question our style, our gift, our passion next to those who seem to have it all.
I’d like to interrupt this important blog post for an announcement. I’m not actually a negative person. Or unhappy. Or jealous. Or depressed. If you’ve been reading my now weekly “personal posts” as I like to call them, you may think one or all of the above. I’m actually none of the above. I’ve just felt a calling lately to be the voice from the other side. To say that it in fact happens to us to. Because I know I could be one of those people. Yet what you see isn’t 100% real life and in fact I start to question myself to. My style. My gift. My passion. And I genuinely, honestly feel like social media and the Internet and all of these “options” can be amazing. If you take them the right way. If you put on your rose colored lenses. And enjoy it for what it is. And not for what it isn’t. Us, women, can be so hard on ourselves and I think that’s something I fight for everyday for myself, my daughters and you guys!…my readers.
Okay so now that I’ve cleared all of that up, let’s continue… So back to that career comparison thing. I’m a designer. An interior designer/home blogger as you know. I have been so blessed and have celebrated some really great milestones. Particularly over the last couple of years. Yet I’m still not safe from this thing. This comparison thing. This thing that I find draining me at times. Sucking the creative life out of me. Because I also do what you may do. I subconsciously create this person, this compilation of the most amazing qualities from each IG account that I follow, and that’s who I need to be. Want to be. Strive to be. Yet it’s subconscious. But then I subconsciously realize that my house doesn’t look like hers. My style is way more bold. Way more colorful. Way more funky. Maybe next time I should design a bathroom that looks like that. Maybe I should start buying and speccing furniture more traditional in style like that. Because that’s what’s popular right now. That’s what most everyone else is doing. And start to lose me. Yet they are them and I probably can’t do her better than she can. If I design a bathroom like that it won’t be in a magazine or a top “pin” of mine. Because it’s already been done. Because she can do her style way better than I can do her style. Clearly because she is she and I am me. And would it still even be my passion if it were “her” and not me?
And as I go into my biggest project yet, #ourhistoricwonderland, I’m trying so hard to turn off the hesitation. I’m turning off the questions. I’m turning off the doubt. And I’m turning off these new social media voices in my head. Because I am unique. And I can do me way better than anyone else can do me. And that’s what the world needs. More you and you and you and you. Because comparison and replicating (once again, I’m ONLY referring to careers) and envy and doubt doesn’t make you any better. You can do YOU way better than anyone else can ever do you. So as I continuously try to do everyday in a world now suffocating us with social media perfection, embrace you and celebrate you and showcase you. Because God made you with a purpose and a unique gift, a light that shines brighter with that gift than anyone else can shine. You can do you better than anyone else can do you. So create your own uniquely beautiful life and career and celebrate your passion. Because no matter how hard they try or you try, your unique gift cannot shine any brighter than it does when it’s done by you.
XOXO, Brittany Hayes
Oscar Bravo says
I’m sure many people feel like this! I myself hear those little voices every now and then but I don’t listen! I do what makes me happy and I know my style isn’t for everyone but neither is #9 spicy a** Thai food but I love spicy Thai food and I’m not gonna stop eating that because others don’t like it! Same for my own home aesthetics ! So anyway, well written Addison! It’s nice to be honest to your readers to let them know nobody is perfect and that perfection shouldn’t be the goal! Take care!
Kim B says
Yes! This has been on my mind lately and I am not even an interior designer; I’m just a lover of homes, decor, making furniture and slowly turning our 1920s home into a beautiful reflection of us. Some days I feel like if I painted all my trim and walls the same bright white then suddenly it will all come together. But that is not true to me and I am inspired by your own creative journey! Thank you for sharing!
Sharon Quate says
It’s all about what makes YOU happy. I love that you surround yourself with things that make you feel good, and the added bonus is that we just happen to love your ideas too! Keep planning and designing, because it’s definitely your calling.
Sarah Roberts says
Brittney,
I love your honesty and openness. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing “better” or “different.” I think it is so important to not loose ourselves or beat ourselves up by comparing to others. As you said, “God made you with a purpose, and a unique gift.” I am thankful for your design gifts because that is not my gift! I love your blog and love your designs. Keep your head up as you tackle your new historic wonderland. I can’t wait to see what is in store!
Kassie says
Love this post. I used to think I needed to paint everything white and have all white, slipcovered furniture and neutral decor in order to be “liked’ in social media land. But that’s just not me. I love color. I’m just me. And nothing makes me happier than when I come up with an original idea that didn’t come from Pinterest or anywhere else but my decor-loving self! I love your style and can’t wait to see the progress on the new house.
Sarah Hall says
Amen, sister! “Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt
I’ve been reminding myself of this recently, too. Thanks for sharing this truth. You’re inspirational in so many ways!
Kari says
“And I genuinely, honestly feel like social media and the Internet and all of these “options” can be amazing. If you take them the right way. If you put on your rose colored lenses. And enjoy it for what it is. And not for what it isn’t.”
This is my favorite part of this post. It puts into words how I honestly feel and how I go about all this social media coming at me. I take what I can use and nothing more. I hope if there is anything readers can take away from this post is exactly what you said in that paragraph. Do you and nothing else.
Thank you for such a well written commentary.
Beth says
Love reading your posts – especially these more personal posts – it resonated with me and I appreciate your honesty – one of my favorite quotes I have posted in my IG profile is “be yourself – everyone else is already taken” by Oscar Wilde so I couldn’t agree more with letting the uniqueness of your creativity and imagination shine through! It’s what I instill in my daughters daily 🙂 Can’t wait to read more about your new home and continue to be inspired by your amazing design talent!! xo
Kelley Nan Lopez says
Brittany, this was such a morning blessing… read from my office that I decided to “try something different” in, modeled after someone else… a room that I can’t stand. HAHA! You are so unique and inspiring and this is something we all need to hear and be reminded of. I love your heart and your voice.
Christine says
I love this post!! I cannot agree more with everything you said.
Devin Self says
Oh my goodness! Just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for this post! I relate on so many levels. I’ve just graduated and all my friends are getting jobs, becoming successful, able to buy their own apartments, provide for themselves, and really enjoying the direction they’re headed in with their new jobs/careers. While I, on the other hand, am struggling to figure things out and struggling to even get an ‘in-the-meantime’ job (as I like to call it (like retail, administrative, or something). I keep comparing myself to all my peers and its so difficult sometimes. I want to make design and renovation, etc my career. its my dream. but how to do that, i don’t know. But, I do know God is watching over me and has a plan. I don’t understand now but one day I’ll see His works all unfolding. I’m excited for this journey of mine. Thank you for this great reminder and allowing me to see it’s not just me struggling with this social media comparison!
Keila says
This was so beautiful and inspiring! I’ve alway loved how your style stands apart from the rest! Thank you for the wonderful reminder and words of encouragement! Xo!
Melissa says
I’ve only recently started reading your blog, but I felt like I had to thank you for bringing me back to reality. You’re so right about taking many women’s best qualities and trying to be a person who doesn’t exist. Thank you for caring enough about your readers that you keep it real even though it’s scary to admit to the world, you experience fear, doubts, and insecurities too. You have been such an inspiration!
Brittany Hayes says
Seriously thank you so much Melissa! That means so so much! XOXO
Brittany Hayes says
That means so so much! Thank you for reading and commenting! You are the best! XOXO