Saying Goodbye to 23 Years and HELLO to a Beautiful Road Ahead…
It is with a very heavy heart that after 23 years together and 17 years of marriage, I have filed for divorce from my Husband. After a very difficult month, we have worked together to amicably resolve the issues involved with our divorce. While we both move forward on this new journey, we will always be loving and dedicated parents to our girls and will continue to co-parent and keep their best interests as our priority. We will not be commenting further at this time and we thank you all in advance for respecting our family’s privacy.
XOXO, Brittany
I have filed for divorce. Words I genuinely thought I would never ever be able to say. Words I have sworn to myself since I was very young that would never be a part of my story. But also words that I can honestly say I put even more than my all into avoiding. It’s been a very long and difficult road for me. A road that started before I even knew what the word blogger and Instagram even meant. A road that all began with being hit head on by the harsh realities of the world. Way back, almost six years ago exactly, I was lost. I was insecure, scared, a brand new mom for the second time and had a will to hold on stronger than any other desire or emotion. I still remember the days that I crawled into a fetal position and cried. Laying in bed at my mom’s house for days with a new baby girl and a five year old thinking that all I wanted to do was make it better. Do whatever I could do to put the pieces back together and change the past as well as the course of the future. Maybe if I was prettier or smarter, maybe if I said yes more or had more fun. Maybe if I was more successful, more beautiful, kinder, easier, skinnier, stronger… it would all be okay.
Those days were a literal gift from God. If you had said those words to me then, I likely would have hated you with fervor. I sulked and cried and pitied myself for quite some time. Like on and off for YEARS. And then one day, God lit a fire under me with the start of a home renovation. Creativity has always spawned happiness and hope within me and the thought of having a space in which to vent my emotions creatively, set my soul on fire. I realized in those days that I am the only one who loves me, cares about me, respects me and can realize and fulfill my own worth to the fullest. And from those days of pouring all of myself into my passion for design, my blog was born. And from my blog, my tribe was born. You guys are MY TRIBE. God walked me through every single day and down every single path these last six years. The more I trusted and put myself out there and stepped outside of my comfort zone, the more He pushed me. Writing a blog and sharing my personal life for hundreds of thousands of people to see was never ever my plan. It was and still is so far outside of my comfort zone but He had a plan and I have seen it fulfilled in ways that I cannot even begin to explain. Yet I feel as though the true fulfillment has only just begun.
Although this post is announcing a really big end in my life, I already feel like it is the freshest and most incredible new beginning. Having trudged my way out of my darkest days quite some years ago, I felt almost immediately after learning of life’s most recent and honestly most shocking hurdle, that I had already walked that dark road. Without even realizing it, I had spent the last six years setting myself up for today. I have never felt stronger, happier, more alive, more free and more ready for true, genuine LOVE. It’s taken me almost a decade but I finally know who I am. I know what I want and what I deserve and what it means to be respected and shown my worth. Walking away may have been the most difficult thing I have ever done but I know that one day my girls will understand. They will be proud and I will put my all into teaching them that they are worthy of the best love in all of the world.
As I head into tomorrow and really even today, I want y’all to know that I am back. I spent some time radio silent and unsure of what to say moving forward but those days are gone. I have decided to take some time to tell my full story but I have a hell of a lot of to say in the meantime. I am proud to be a woman and I am proud to use the voice and platform God has blessed me with to share my journey. I spent YEARS holding everything inside and those days have come to an end. As I posted last night on Instagram stories, I genuinely feel that the world needs less women sharing their hair routines and more women sharing sharing difficult and holy things. But hey, I do love a good makeup and hair routine so ya know… 😉 HOWEVER, I am here and I am ready. To share my new journey… my past, present and future… my ups and downs… my wins and upsets and everything in between. We may not realize it but us as women deserve it all too. We can be moms and we can have passions and we can be happy. Life may throw us some ridiculousness but it’s all about how we handle it and how we move forward that counts. We can all win and we can all do it TOGETHER. LOVE. YOU. ALL.
XOXO, Brittany Hayes
Kelly Ward says
You’re amazing!
Mandy says
Tears! I am so glad you found the courage to know your worth. To know you deserve to be treated right. I am so sorry for the pain. You are brave and I pray this journey and sharing brings healing to your heart.
Jenni Koessl says
So proud of you speaking your truth, as much as it hurts. You are such an awesome mom for doing what’s best for you. Your girls will know it one day. We are only given one life, we should be allowed to truly live in happiness every day. ❤ thank you for all you give.
Elizabeth says
I could not agree with you more about the world needing more women sharing the truth, the good, bad and the ugly. I too love a beautiful home, recipe, hair and make-up tutorial but I think my life and many others would be so much more enriched by the truth behind those tutorials.
I am sorry that you are saying goodbye to 23 years with Mark but I think from what I have seen on your social media that although you will no longer be together that you will continue to be wonderful loving parents and kind, people.
Sending your prayers as you move forward on your new journey.
Savanna Nave says
I am so darn proud of you girl. YOU ARE INCREDIBLE
Dawn says
Brittany, when I first found your blog a couple years ago I went back and read all the posts. I got the one about how your marriage was saved and honestly I was jealous. I tried everything in Gods name to save my own marriage to my own high school sweetheart back in 2009 but it did not turn out the way I had hoped. I have mixed feelings seeing your post today on Instagram. It was a shock but then I felt relief. Not sure if it was relief for you or for myself but I immediately had to go the blog to read more. I can honestly say that the time I was single after my divorce was the happiest most free years of my life. Even though it was financially and physically difficult being a single mom to two babies without any help from their father I still look back and think that was the best feeling I have ever had….being dependent only on myself. I wish you the best of luck but you don’t need it. You will excel and your girls will be fine. Don’t know you personally but feel like I do! Love and support!
Rachael says
I know how difficult it is to leave after you have been told and made to feel worthless. It’s not easy to say the least but it really can only get better. Happy days are ahead. Sensing you love xx
Brittany says
Girl, so proud of you!!
I’m sorry that you are going through a difficult season, but my word, you are setting an incredible example for your girls. By you knowing your worth, they will learn their own.
Thank you for your transparency. Know that you are an inspiration to SO MANY!
God bless you and your girls. ❤️
xo, a fellow Britt
Barefootbentessa says
I think most of us already guessed this was what was going on. So sorry you and the girls have to go through this but emerging stronger, happier, and knowing you are enough is the gift at the end of the storm.
Brook says
Thank you for sharing. My children and I are currently going through the same thing. I waited too long, and like you, walked an ugly road for far too long. I am sorry for what you are going through, but know there are other mothers suffering the same loss. It helps to know I am not alone.
NA says
Your tribe is with you!!
Strong women, may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.
Cas says
You have a lot of women warriors out here supporting you. I too, never thought divorce would be in my world and after 25 years it was…and the change while painful, was a blessing. I was strong and courageous before, but you better believe, I am so much more now. Good luck to you and your girls as you navigate this new chapter in your book(s). All love and good vibes your way.
Goldie Thompson says
Brittany! I stand in COMPLETE AWE of you…your strength, your fortitude, your grace, your vulnerability. My prayers are with you and your family as you carve this new path. Designers have a knack for envisioning the beauty of a space and bringing it to fruition. I have no doubt you’ll “design” THE most gorgeous, interesting, eclectic, fulfilling and loving life for you and your girls. It shall be a masterpiece!
XOXO,
Goldie Thompson
Karen says
Now it’s time to take care and love your self, and be your self and be strong for your girls!
Jennifer says
You’re a warrior! You’ve GOT this!
Glo says
Brittany, I met you at Target in Canton, Ga. Yall had been working at your mountain house and I talked to you in the check out! I saw you looking at the Christmas decor that was on sale and I wanted to see what you bought cause I wasn’t going to buy it too. ha!! Anyway I am praying for you and your new beginning!!!! It’s so awesome to begin fresh and move on with Him as your guide!!!! Love you and you can count on me as an older prayer warrior!! Only Blessings ahead for you and your precious girls!!!! HE ALWAYS makes a way!!!!
Lisa says
God has prepared you for this time and you have done your work with Him to get where you are today. I am so sorry to hear about what has happened, but He will see you through and you are helping others going through rough times and searching for truth by being so transparent. Thank you and I wish only the best for you and your family.
Nicole Charles says
“ I genuinely feel that the world needs less women sharing their hair routines and more women sharing sharing difficult and holy things.” AMEN, AMEN, can we get an AAaaaaameeenn?!??! God bless you Brittany and your next chapter ahead. The social media needs more REAL people like you, being vulnerable, open and honest. Xoxoxo allll the good vibes
Audra says
I praise you and am thanking God for you right now! You are so right….there are so many women, me included, going through what you’re going through who need your words of encouragement that God has gifted you with. Thank you for your vulnerability and for SHINING your light for ALL of us to see!
Brooke says
Brittany I have followed you for the past few years and I think your freaking amazing! I have no doubt that God is going to use you for something so awesome! You are such a blessing and inspiration to so many of us!
Melissa says
I don’t know you but I started praying for you when you shared your news on your Instastory two weeks ago. I think your next chapter will be phenomenal. Just a suggestion: Change your brand and site to Brittany’s Wonderland (I think a lot of your tribe thinks your name is Addison). It is your time to shine and receive credit!
God is on your side, and I pray you can feel all of the love and prayers (even in Texas 🙂
Sherrie Roberts says
A family friend once told my sister, “a minor setback for a major comeback.” This speaks volumes to me and while life seems upside down, God has a plan…but you already know that. Praying for you and the girls. ❤️
Debbie Sullivan says
Honesty- It’s difficult to find and often a hard pill to swallow. I’m not just speaking of others; I’ve found that it’s often hardest to be honest with oneself. I had commented on Instagram that I always hope for fairytales, and I do. However, life has also taught me that change happens. Growth occurs through many different avenues. (Heck, crap makes the best fertilizer…) I know I’m a complete stranger, but I’m so happy that you’ve found your smile, one that comes from a genuine place. You are brave, and you are worthy.
Huong says
You are stronger than you realize. Thank you for bringing forth your talent and trust in all of us by sharing your own personal life. Courageous. Let us all continue to strengthen each other. Amen! God Bless!!
Jill says
You go girl! Show your daughters what faith, and courage look like! So glad you’ve got Lysa TerKeurst’s book. She is a wonderful example of a godly woman who has made herself vulnerable in order to help others – just like you. Thanks!
Sondra Gettys says
The EXACT same thing happened to me over 10 years ago. I NEVER thought I would be divorced. I had two young boys and I had been a stay at home mom and one day my husband came home from work and said ” I don’t think I love you anymore”. That was the beginning of a three year nightmare and struggle of trying to save our marriage. I finally faced the reality that he was not going to change his mind so I picked myself up, found a job and moved forward. You are right to be strong for your girls. I would have never chosen this path, but God has a way of making everything ok. I will keep you and your girls in my prayers.
Angie says
Not sure how i found you years ago, but I look forward to seeing your face, your adventures, trials and ALL of it! My heart breaks for you as i know how much you loved that man. It was apparent in everything you did and the way you looked at him. Sometimes love isn’t enough! Once again, i am so glad you are sharing this journey with us. I followed and learned so much from your health battles along with the fun stuff too! Many many prayers and hugs to you and your girls as you face whatever this is that has happened. Thank you for being real and thank you for being YOU! You are fabulous just the way you are 🙂 Feel like i have known you for years!
Andrea says
You are an inspiration. Thank you for being real and being you. Can’t wait to see what amazing things God has planned for you for your future.
Debbie says
I’m in shock right now. I’m so sorry for what’s happened and it truly was not apparent to many of your blog/instagram/FB audience. Your marriage was the epitome of a good partnership in your personal relationship, business, and parenting. My only concern was that you both were so busy doing multiple projects that I always hoped you had time for spiritual growth individually and as a couple. God so loves, treasures, and pursues you daily. May you know that and allow yourself to sit at His feet. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Darlene says
I am in awe of your courage and fearlessness. Despite everything that is happening in your personal life you have made a conscious decision to move forward for yourself and your girls, which I know couldn’t have been easy. You are an extremely talented person and have so much going for you, don’t ever doubt that. When I read your story I wished that I had half the strength you have. There are changes that I need to make in my own life, but can’t seem to make that happen. Thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration and I look forward to seeing what God has planned for you. Take care of yourself.
Julie says
Brittany you are such a beautiful woman. So brave, courageous and such an inspiration to woman all over the world. I am in a really dark place right now and by listening to you it is slowly helping me gain the courage to move forward. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping me and so many others. God Bless you and your sweet girls. Sending you a big hug xoxo
Alicia Love says
Thank you for being honest, real, and raw and sharing your story. You are inspirational and a role model for women and young girls. ❤️
Bridgette says
Wow! I am so happy you found your strength and peace! You and your girls deserve the best life has to offer! I’m in awe of your conviction! You got this and I can’t wait to see everything you end up accomplishing!!
Cindy Hess Boldan says
You are AMAZING!! I am SO proud of you, and what you have become and cannot wait to see what your future holds!!! You just became my favorite blogger of all time! I knew I loved you, but this has blown me away with respect and admiration!!! You go girl!!!! You’ve got this!!! The world is your oyster! Ezekiel 17:23 “On the high mountain of Israel I will plant it, that it may bring forth boughs and bear fruit and become a stately cedar. And birds of every kind will nest under it; they will nest in the shade of its branches.” You are growing into a BEAUTIFUL cedar tree!!!!!
Camilla @mom_to_10_kids says
You are amazing
Me and my husband hade a crise 3 years ago.
I broke down .
Now we are trying to fix it but its so hard to forgive.
I feel stronger now ,I have grown sens then
Sue says
I wish you the best journey for you and your girls! You are so creative, talented, beautiful, worthy etc. and deserve to be treated as such! I am glad you know that now and are a great example to your girls! ❤️ hugs
Alessia says
I am holding back tears because I’m in a classroom of students, but these tears are for your triumph. I know there is pain there, plenty of it, but the strength it takes to say “no,me” is something I am yet to fully embody.
I follow you because of your design, but God has a way of putting things in my path that I never expected or knew I needed to see or hear. God bless you and your girls. Strong women! May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them!
Michelle says
So proud! I’ve been following you for a couple years now. Saw your struggle and am now going through it myself. Thanks for being such a role model. I think of you often when I’m down.