Dear Winnie…

Dear Winnie,

Tomorrow you turn four. I mean I honestly can’t even. Tears started streaming down my face after just those first four words. You see baby girl… five years ago today, exactly one year before you were born, mommy had two babies in her belly. Twins. But God took those away from us and replaced them with you. We were devastated when we lost those two babies. Mommy thought she would be sad forever. But God always knows what is best and he knew we just needed you. I did not understand that then but I know that more than anything now. And that is why we always call you our “double the everything”. You have given us double the love, double the fun and definitely double the laughs. You were our sunshine on a rainy day. A rainy year. You are our forever rainbow. Maybe that is why that has always been our song. You made us happy when skies were grey.

I remember the day you were born as if it were yesterday. Mommy had it all planned out but you had other plans. Otherwise known to us now as “just being Winnie”. I should’ve known you would always keep us on our toes when the doctor gave us the scary news that day and said he needed to take you early. Not just early but right then and there. You are always a girl that knows what she wants when she wants it and crosses those arms and stomps those feet until she gets it. And until mommy laughs and gets in trouble with daddy for egging you on. Well that day you must’ve grabbed the umbilical cord and said here I come! And that you did. A perfect baby girl that we named Winter Hailyn.

Big sissy Addie was our first baby and has a special place in our hearts for reasons I will share with her on her birthday. But you are our last and hold a special place in mommy’s heart for so many other special reasons. First, you are my boo. I don’t even know what that means but you just are. You are the mommy’s girl I worried I would never have. You make me laugh until I cry and you make me cry until I laugh. Lately I have been crying inside at the thought that one day soon I will not be able to pick you up anymore. My heart cannot even process that thought. And that is why when you say “hold me forever”, I say “I am never ever putting you down”. I love the way you say “pillow (pe-doe), finger (feener) and Chickfila (Chickalay). I love the way you play so hard, love so hard and fight for what you want. I love the way you wake up in the mornings, turn on your light, sit at the end of the bed and yell “mommy I waked up!” I love the way you hold my face really tight with your tiny little hands to tell me what you want. I love the way you suck your thumb and rub your belly. I am not sure my heart will ever be able to make you stop. I love the way you “read” about God in your little Bible and say your prayers so sweet every night. Oh and I think He will forgive you for putting Him in time out last night. Only Winnie puts God in time out. And most of all I love that you are mine. That God trusted me with this precious, adorable, feisty and hilarious little human that has made our family complete.

My hope for you is that you keep your little fire forever. Always remember the days that you grab something out of Addie’s hands and run for your life. Grab hold of your dreams, fight for what you want and never give up. Never let anyone tell you what you are or what you aren’t because you are everything to me. You are smart and witty, precious and beautiful, kind and honest, sassy and sweet. Take care of your body and your mind and your heart because those are the only things in your life that YOU can control. Love God the way you do now forever. Lean on Him when things get hard because you were our gift from Him when our lives got difficult. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. Happy Birthday Winter Hailyn! We love you!