For more on Winter’s Room… “Winnie’s Little Girl Room Design Reveal”
This year I will turn 35 and lately I’ve been having these moments. These “holy cow where did my 20’s go???” and “holy crap I am officially mid-30’s approaching my 40’s” moments. I am not sure why it has hit so hard lately but I finally told my hubby, I think it is because “I am done”…
Do you remember, being 13, 14, 15 and looking so forward to turning 16, 21, 25. Seems like yesterday when every age brought something new and amazing. If you were 12 and 8 months you were basically 13 so you just said you were 13. Life seemed like it would be so magical at that certain age. It would be so liberating to turn 16, get a driver’s license and be able to go anywhere. Do anything. Such an exciting time. An exciting day. Although never much of a “drinker”, turning 21 was still such a memorable birthday. Our turning 21 was a bit different than most. We were married at 20 and even purchased our first home at 20. I still remember sitting at the closing table and everyone joked that we were purchasing a home but still couldn’t buy a can of beer or a bottle of wine. I remember when we first started our Kitchen and Bath company and everyone called us babies. Being taken seriously was so difficult those first few years. I remember counting down to 25 because 25 years old just seemed so “old”, so “adult”. Maybe everyone would finally believe in us. Finally think that we were the real deal.
Looking back I feel as though I rushed it all. Not that life could go any faster than it already does but I just wanted tomorrow to come for so many reasons. To be old enough to get married. To be old enough to be taken seriously. To be finished with college and “move on” with my life. I wished it by so fast because that next age or next stage was going to be IT. I would finally be grown up.
Well now, I am closing in on 35 and I am finally grown up. And in most ways… I Am Done. I am done with all of those new and exciting stages. Those new and exciting ages. And I am like dang, can I have all of that back? Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy with where I am now. I love my husband. I adore my girls. I finally feel like I am expressing my creativity and passion the way I always dreamed of. But I am done.
I am done going to grade school. To homecoming. To prom. I am done turning those fun ages. I have my driver’s license. I can buy a bottle of wine. I am done going to college and having very little responsibility (as fleeting a time as that was for us). I graduated college. I have my degree. I am done getting engaged and planning a wedding. Wedding showers and engagement parties are now all almost 15 years ago. I am done being pregnant and welcoming new little bundles of joy. Those showers and moments are now over three years ago. All of that is now done. Gosh, she is having a mid-life crisis you are probably thinking!
I think I just have finally realized that now that I am done, I want to enjoy it all. I want to soak up every moment. I want to embrace incomplete house projects because that means I have more fun things ahead. I want to let my kids be loud and wild because as soon as I get quiet time to myself I always think, now THAT age WILL be hard. When they are gone and my house is quiet, I already know I will want these moments back. I didn’t know that then but I do now. I never thought I would want back the time I was miserably pregnant or rushing around campus finding my classes. Those nights we stayed up so late to finish our design boards seemed so miserable at the time. But I already want it back. I want to let the house be a little messy because that means more time with my girls. I want to let Winter pitch a fit and Addison make a huge mess creating things in my office because life doesn’t have to be perfect. When it’s “perfect and stress-free” in a rare moment, I am bored.
So three weeks into 2016, one of my biggest New Year’s resolutions is that I want to focus on enjoying the journey. From my children growing up to home renovations. I want to embrace the chaos. I want to take my time and enjoy the steps along the way. Because to be completely honest, I’ve finally figure out that the finish line is rather boring. It’s embracing the chaos that I truly love the most.
For more on our hallway… “The Most Whimsical Hallway of All”
XOXO, Brittany Hayes
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