The Reality Behind these “Perfect” Doors…
So today’s post is completely impromptu. I’m sitting here on a Friday night home alone with my two little ones and feeling totally compelled to write this post. Mark has his last softball game of the season at 9:30pm (right now basically in real time), I just put the girls to sleep and I am sitting in bed, typing this into my phone. Earlier tonight I had a comment on Instagram that got me thinking. Here’s the comment….
Wow, congratulations!!! I recently began reading our blog. At a glance, one could say you’re the girl that has it all. I’m so glad I took the time to read. Your words on extending grace and your journey to today are genuine and show a humble side. Very very deserving of all the blessings and exciting things happening for you!
The comment was in regards to my post about our Today Show feature and although it was so incredibly sweet and positive, it made me sad. You see, I feel as though my blog reads likes book. A compilation of our lives in real time, peeks into my past and renovations detailed from start to finish. Yet I sometimes forget that there are some of you who just take a peek inside. Maybe you’ve just stumbled upon my blog and have just started following along. Or maybe you only catch a post every now and again. Whatever the case may be, maybe you don’t see the whole entire picture. You only see the features and the fun. And yes, that’s obviously the stuff that I love to share. That I’m proud of. That I’m working to accomplish. Yet that’s basically the “after” or the “high points” or the “features” of my story. Our story.
There’s this thing about blogging and about designing that bugs me. Literally drives me insane. I talk to Mark about it almost daily. I honestly feel as though having been given an “artistic gift” is almost as much a blessing as it is a curse. And I mean that only in the sense of the outside looking in. Of those passer by’s who glance at my page or pop into my blog every now and again. It’s the curse of feeling completely misunderstood. That I’m materialistic. That I spend my entire life obsessing over wallpaper and paint colors. That my kids look perfect and my house is immaculate every second of every day. Design is my passion. And that is all. I love it and I daydream about it and I also do it for a living. Now I blog about it all for a living and that’s where it got tricky. Now that my career has become sharing my designs, my ideas and my life, 90% of the time, I have to focus on the wonderful. And the whimsical. Because the reality is that you most likely wouldn’t have been drawn to my blog had I posted the mess, the hard times and rooms that we never got around to finishing. Those aren’t Pinterest worthy. They’re not Instagram worthy. They won’t drive traffic to my blog. And they won’t help me advance my dreams. So I share the beautiful. And the wonderful. And the exciting.
Every now and then, I do get deeper though. And those are the posts that I fear you miss. Posts like this where I tell you that life isn’t perfect. Yes, it’s going pretty good right now but it hasn’t always been this way and it won’t always be this way. I know that. I saw this quote on Facebook tonight and it stopped me in my tracks…
“There will be years that ask and there will be years that answer. God never wastes pain.”
Gosh you don’t know even know how true that has been in my life. Several years ago were the years that asked. That I asked. Why is all of this happening? Life seems so perfect. And now it’s all getting thrown around and thrown away. We’ve almost lost our marriage and almost lost our business at different points over the last ten years. And then suddenly the years started to answer. That pain caused decisions. And changes. That all ended up leading to today. Dreams I’ve had for decades that seemed a needle in a haystack coming true right before our eyes. Simply because we changed the course. Because that course would’ve never led to today. Yet at the time it seemed the only way. The best way. So He had to royally stir things. Like thought my life was “over” stir things up. So these days I celebrate that we’ve made it through those times. That we fought through the hardships, changed our paths and held on tight. We didn’t give up even when everything on Earth told us to walk away. I think those times taught me that it’s okay to admit defeat. To be honest and open like I try so hard to do on my blog. And although I’ll never share the intimate details to my past, I have shared lots before. And if you have the time and haven’t done so before, I hope you’ll read these posts. And get to know me a little bit better. Here are just a few…
XOXO, Brittany Hayes
Brittany,
I love this. I also blog and there are definitely rooms I don’t show because they are not “worthy” of a house tour. It’s sometimes wonderful and sometimes a struggle. Thanks for being so honest.
Jenn
I feel you on this, friend! Honesty is always the most compelling- great blog post, as usual!
I appreciated this post as a new blogger. There is that constant battle and I appreciate reading it from another blogger. Thank you for that!
Thanks for being open, honest and transparent that life is real! Sometimes good and sometimes bad and that none of us are perfect 🙂 I love following your blog and your journey through it all! hugs, Darcy
I honestly needed this today. I love these in depth looks at how things may look perfect for you but you had to go through so much to get here. You are so lucky and I adore you and your rawness on this subject. I’m a struggling designer in a terrible location. My family is currently in the struggling phase and it’s hard. So hard. I have faith that things will move forward and there is something out there for me. This posts helps me keep my head held high. Thank you, always! xoxoxoxo
Absolutely stunning post. I love how you have shared your heart. I am a newer business owner, and this really spoke to me. Thank you for opening up. 🙂
This is beautiful and heartfelt and raw and genuine. I’m always drawn to people who are vulnerable and am able to open themselves up and I so appreciate and relate to this post. I’m new in the blogging world (5 months new) and it’s already been a journey so far. I always want people to see the whole picture, the whole me and not just the perfectly placed food. If they could see the kitchen behind it with dishes piled high in the sink, they will see the real me. Ha! Thank you for having the courage to share. I admire you even more now! 🙂
This post speaks to my soul. Design was my dream job. I graduated college with an accounting degree and work in the corporate world. When I run into friends I grew up with they are just as confused. I love decorating and designing my house. It consumes most of my thoughts. It is my outlet and something that effects me deeply. I think a lot of people can take it as being materialistic, but it isn’t. I know in my heart that the way my home feels effects the way I function. I have no desire to “keep up” with anyone or have the latest and greatest. It is something different than that. Thanks for sharing!
I think the majority of ppl understand that you are a real person and that outside the frame may not look so perfect! I follower a lovely blogger (justaddsunshine) that has a hashtag #katiessliceofreallife that shows “real life” pics of the craziness of life. It’s fun and Ithink everyone’s can relate to her. Life isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be! We don’t want it to be anyway- how boring would that be?!?!